Yesterday, I was jogging up a steep hill while cross-training for the AIDS Life Cycle 545 mile charity bike ride I’ll be riding in this June. As the climb got harder, I was having one of my “What did I think I was doing signing up for this” moments. I huffed and puffed my way through that contracted thought and continued on. Needless to say, in my jump-start training, I will have opportunities aplenty to doubt myself, my capabilities, and my decision to spontaneously sign up for this event with only three months to train. But, I’m not worried. Doubt gets a bad wrap, but I actually think it can be quite helpful on the journey of life. Here are a few things to remember about doubt so you can make your relationship with it less fearful and more fruitful: - Doubt is necessary. Doubt is the necessary contraction we need before we can experience our next phase of expansion in our personal growth. Just like a caterpillar going into a cocoon before it emerges as a butterfly, or a tree losing its leaves and faring through winter before new spring buds can appear; we, too, must explore our deepest vulnerabilities through self-doubt before we can unveil our greater potential within. Where we go awry is when we allow ourselves to get seduced by the drama of the contraction. It can feel very appealing to stay stuck in something, not because it’s good or healthy for us, but simply because it’s familiar and safe. Instead of attaching yourself to the doubt and believing everything that voice in your head says, use these moments of contraction to remember that you are in a process of growing more towards your authentic self. These contractions, though often painful, are a necessary part of that process before you can birth the latest evolved version of you! So, be patient and keep perspective. We all experience these moments. It’s what you choose to do with them that matters.
- Doubt is a catalyst. Doubt creates opportunities for deep self inquiry where you can call into question your current assumptions about you and your life. If you didn’t have these moments of uncertainty, you might never know what you’re truly capabale of accomplishing. Carl Sagan, a famous astronomer once said, “It is the tension between creativity and skepticism that has produced the stunning and unexpected findings of science.” In our quest to better ourselves and “create” our best lives possible, we need to be willing to let go of "certainties" and venture into the unknown where new possibilities and ideas exist for a more fulfilling life. Next time you find yourself in the throws of doubt, try putting all your assumptions aside and ask yourself “What might this doubt be here to teach me? How can I use this moment as an opportunity for learning instead of an opportunity for beating myself up? What’s a small step I can take to put these new insights into action?” These questions may not be so easy to answer at first, but have faith. With time, you’ll learn to love these “spaces in the question.” They are a time in which you can cultivate a more gentle and compassionate relationship with yourself. If it feels too hard to do this on your own, try reaching out to a trusted friend to use as a sounding board.
- Doubt is a reality of life, and it has an important role to play in everyone’s journey. You do not have to fear it or think you’re less than for having moments of doubt. When it creeps up, it’s a good reminder to check in with our self-talk, our beliefs, and our assumptions. Are we really being honest with ourselves in our self talk? Are we using these moments of vulnerability as opportunity for increased self-awareness and self-care, or are we just using them as another excuse to beat up on ourselves? Rather than focusing your energy on never doubting yourself again, consider changing your relationship with doubt so that you can invite it in to your process as the wise teacher it can prove to be. You will find it is in these moments that the richest insights and most profound connections to yourself can most easily arise. And that’s what makes life so sweet.
Well, that’s all for now my friends. I have another hill to climb…
In peace,
Amy Lombardo
Founder, True Nature Wellness
http://www.truenaturewellness.com/
Be Well ~ Be True ~ Be You
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